Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Talent Show

What if someone asked you to empty out all of your talents into a bucket—all of the things that you can do well and that give you a peaceful pride, even tiny things that only you know you are good at. What if every last crumb or cent of your unique skills were no longer a part of you?

And then what if someone told you that you had to pick the thing you were very worst at—the thing that you are so astonishingly bad at that by about the 4th grade you already knew it wasn’t happening—and what if someone then told you that you had to do that thing. for a living.

This is how I feel sometimes. But there was no “someone”. It was all me.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

7 Reasons to Remain Silent

I dont talk in class, unless I am the teacher. As a student, I sit there with a sometimes knitted brow, occasionally nodding or sniffling a half-laugh if its called for... but I hardly ever, ever speak, unless spoken to. Apparently this is detrimental to my career as a graduate student, so I need to think about why it is I do here goes...

I dont speak in class because:

1) I am not sure what I am going to say is correct or worth hearing.
2) I am probably wrong.
3) I dont want to compete with the talkers, I dont want to interrupt anyone’s rant, even if I think they are wrong and/or overly confident and/or absurd, which is often the case.
4) I didnt read carefully enough so asking a question may accidentally reveal this.
5) I am not really that interested in what I am learning.
6) I dont want to be judged, even though sitting there in silence does not totally absolve me of this I suppose.
7) I dont want people to know what I think.

Writing this list just convinced me again to remain silent... and I like this quote by Lincoln:

{Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.} -Abraham Lincoln

and finally I leave you with this quote from Liz Lemon from the show 30Rock, which I think I love even more than the Lincoln quote....{SUCK IT NERDS!}.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

charm school

We had a conversation about charm. Then, a few weeks later, feeling unsatisfactory on the topic, I started another conversation about charm and what it is to be charming. Things are still unresolved, which, incidentally, probably makes me uncharming, but here goes anyway...

Firstly, for some reason, I think of it as an adjective to describe men not women, but I think that might just be me.

Secondly, what is it exactly? Does it require one to be extraordinarily sparkly or just ordinarily lovely? should one be quirky? or mild? smiling seems key. should one be witty or reserved and attentive? a leader of the conversation or just a breezy delightful partner in a chat? shallow or deep?

or is this just stupid? is it an old Great Gatsbyish term that needs no explanation.

Anyway, do you think of this word as a pejorative term that connotes some unsavory agenda? or is this a compliment?

or maybe I will just know it when I see it.

**click on the title of this post to link back to the last post I wrote about charm in 2006.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009


How do you separate your personal desires from what your parents want for you? What are we but responses to our parents issues? We either perpetuate their issues, rebel against them or turn them into something positive, or negative. But they are always there, hanging heavy like a soaking wet towel that never dries. Hopefully as time rolls on it becomes easier to distinguish ourselves from our parents shortcomings, but I dont think I believe that we can truly ever wriggle free.

P.S.-this is an old post that I wanted to re-post in case you missed it.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Reverse Birds

Maybe its because I can recognize people from the back from a mile away...but I just love these Reverse Birds photos via {A Cup Of Jo Blog} on the title of this post for the images.