Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Welcome Back!

Scientists believed these tiny primates, Tarsius pumilus (or Pygmy Tarsiers) weighing less than two ounces, were extinct until researchers recently found some in the mountaintop forests of Indonesia!

Monday, November 17, 2008

I Want to Want

Nirvana is the supreme state free from suffering and individual existence, it is a state of wanting nothing. This is the ultimate goal for Buddhists, and I have finally made up my mind about what I think of this.

Have you ever wanted to be liberated from wanting something, either by getting it, or by just not wanting it anymore? and what about the four freedoms? what about freedom from want? I understand that the {freedom from want} is advantageous because the goal is to get.

But, I think wanting is action. Wanting is change. Wanting is innovation. Wanting is also the very first step in getting. In getting all sorts of good attainable things like grilled cheese and love.

So, I dont think you can reach enlightenment by not wanting. This is not to promote greed, you will probably never get all you want anyway. But I think that to want is to be alive. I want to want. Want is hope.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Beginning to see the light

Last night I couldnt sleep and of course that led me to lying in bed thinking about everything, ever. I realized something big about my brain and how it works. This is one of the interesting parts about being a student again, I am revisiting all of my old academic weaknesses (and there are many) with an adult perspective and slightly less drama.

I have realized that things upstairs work a little different for me than for most. For example, when I read something it never really speaks loudly to me, its just an unconvincing whisper. But when I see something then it makes almost instant sense to me, and hearing it is an extra bonus.

All these years I knew I was a {visual person}, but I think there are different types of visual people. There are people who can picture something in their head and then either draw it, or just understand it in a three dimensional way. I cannot do this. I cannot draw something from my head. In fact, one of my problems with math is that there is no inner image in my head of the calculations, there is tumble-weed wobbling by, but no numbers interacting, no gears, just utter blankness. But if I draw it out (or count on my fingers without anyone noticing) I can understand it much, much better.

So, my conclusion is that the reason why I am a visual person is not because I have some advanced visual mind, its because I have a mind that cannot picture I need to see them. Shhhh.

Monday, November 10, 2008

{I am so glad that stupid ass is out the house} -spoken by a homeless man eating Chinese food on the 7 train tonight, regarding President Bush, of course. I chuckled on and off all the way home.

And above is a brilliant and beautiful illustration from the cover of The New Yorker, by Bob Staake.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Stuffed Animals

Tomorrow I am going to the museum again. Its a certain natural history museum that I have spent hours dreaming in as a visitor with my torn admission ticket shoved in the pocket of my pilled green fleece jacket. Hours marveling at the hall of biodiversity in all of its successive pinned butterfly loveliness, hours trying to stare deeply into the stiff and creepy glass eyes of a stuffed mammal, hours being drowned by the natural world and loving it. But I am not a visitor anymore.

I was in the mammals collection last week. Big metal cabinets were unlocked for me and inside of them were shallow and wide flat file shelves with tiny manila boxes on them. On the boxes were tags that read: Museum of Natural History with the species name written on them in perfect pencil script, the date they were collected, and where. Inside of the boxes were bones, skulls of primates, teeth of primates, fingers and toes and you name it. Also on the shelves were the stuffed animals, many of them. There was absolutely no one around, just me, the metal cabinets, the bones, the dust and the furry adorable has-beens all lined up like dead soilders in the drawer.

There was natural light coming through the window and onto the wide marble sill just like you would expect it to look inside of that museum, it was around 11am and the room was romantically dim. I had a cold and I was hungry and didnt want to make too much noise rattling opening the cabinets, so I didnt really enjoy myself as much as I think I did. But I am going back tomorrow, without my admission ticket and with a clearer head.