Friday, November 2, 2012

raison d’ etre

Honey, you are just a Christmas ornament on the tree of life.

This is not my quote. It was said to a family member of mine. But, it could have been said to me. In fact, I am saying it to me.

In the wake of the storm, I have been thinking a lot about non-essential jobs. Most jobs are just massive whirring machines of distraction. Just a way to keep us busy, thinking, making, getting people together, meetings, initiatives, ideas. Generating a raison d' etre and the pensive, satiated exhale that accompanies it. Its why we wake up. Its why I wake up. Although, non-essentialism is essential. I am not a Gradgrind. I am the furthest thing from it. There are too many people in the world for everyone to be a key member of society working to help save lives. And its a good, virtuous decision for certain people not to save or help anyone in particular.

I feel guilty being useless. But being useless is my best use. I would be a terrible nurse, emergency worker or even waitress. I am just going to try to be the best ornament I can be; shiny, steadfast and sometimes joyful.

So sad about all the loss in the wake of the storm. My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones, houses, cars, beautiful old trees, power and light. Stay warm New York.