Saturday, May 16, 2009

charm school

We had a conversation about charm. Then, a few weeks later, feeling unsatisfactory on the topic, I started another conversation about charm and what it is to be charming. Things are still unresolved, which, incidentally, probably makes me uncharming, but here goes anyway...

Firstly, for some reason, I think of it as an adjective to describe men not women, but I think that might just be me.

Secondly, what is it exactly? Does it require one to be extraordinarily sparkly or just ordinarily lovely? should one be quirky? or mild? smiling seems key. should one be witty or reserved and attentive? a leader of the conversation or just a breezy delightful partner in a chat? shallow or deep?

or is this just stupid? is it an old Great Gatsbyish term that needs no explanation.

Anyway, do you think of this word as a pejorative term that connotes some unsavory agenda? or is this a compliment?

or maybe I will just know it when I see it.

**click on the title of this post to link back to the last post I wrote about charm in 2006.


  1. I don't see "reserved and attentive" people as "charming"... Charm, to me, is comprised of a careful balance of dignity, wit and warmth. Cold people aren't charming, and you don't need a colossal amount of education to be witty. Charm = elegance of manner. It's simpler than it seems.

  2. PS: When I say "careful balance", I don't mean to imply the necessity of moderation that borders on a "balancing act". It comes naturally, but may be cultivated (organically)though experience and exposure.

  3. "Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat?"