American Ass

I am off to Philadelphia to the American Association of Physical Anthropologists conference. I am looking forward to it. It will be hours and hours of lectures about primates, genes, evolution and morphology (to name a few) and some obligatory schmoozing, which I am most concerned about.

I have this thing, where I never forget a face, can recognize people from the back of their head and if I have seen someone’s picture on the internet I know who they are immediately in person. This is sort of a vestigial trait from being a shy, observant person in school, knowing everyone but no one knowing you. So my goal is to put this trait to work and march up to people, acknowledge that I recognize them and know their name and then...wobble, wobble, quiver, quiver... introduce myself. People love it when you say their name and know who they are, even if they dont know you I have found. Also, since I am arriving late in the game of graceful socializing you wont be surprised to know that people like smiling too, another thing I might try here and there.

So I called my credit card company today to check if a certain charge had gone through. They went down a list of charges and dates and I stopped at one and asked the representative what that charge was for. He paused and a pall of awkwardness reached through the phone line. “I am not sure if I should be saying this Maam, but since you asked I will, that charge is for American Ass.” I laughed because I knew that it was for the AAPA conference in an unfortunately truncated form. He apologized and with his soft Southern lilt said, “I hope I didnt offend you Maam.”

So I begin my story of the conference with that and will continue it next week.