The wait is over. It ended sooner than I expected. I was looking forward to a few more weeks of uncertainty. Most people are uncomfortable with uncertainty, but I wanted it. I wanted to float through the streets just proud of myself for having actually gotten my applications in.
Now I know that I have been accepted to two Doctoral programs in Anthropology and not only do I have to worry slightly about deciding which one, but now I have to think about the next six years very very carefully. I was also reminded that I should think about what happens after I receive the degree and what kind of work I want to do.
This is all just too much especially when it is all wrapped up in the arsenic and old lace that is planning a wedding.
I am also having a problem being happy for myself. I am trying to be sensible and think, why celebrate my acceptance, it does not mean anything really because I have years and years of very challenging work ahead of me. I keep repeating to myself the line in the Robert Frost poem “and miles to go before I sleep...”
I suppose the initial uncertainty has given way and I am faced with a deep chasm that is the uncertainty of the rest of life. sigh.