About a year ago someone said to me, “Wow you have really matured.” At first I was flattered and in agreement, of course, but as the sun set on that day, I grew to be offended because the implication was that I was immature before. I am sensitive about this topic because, I was in fact immature, but also young in my defense.
I thought the other day about how telling someone you are proud of them can also seem like you are really surprised that they did so well, because you expected less.
So I have a hard time expressing thoughts like “wow you have come a long way” for fear that the person may be offended, as I was.
The other day I visited a friend who has done such great work and seems to have a lovely life of which I know that she would have dreamed of 6 years ago. But like all of us, it is hard to gather up all of the days that have passed into a cohesive quilt of achievement, so I dont think she really knows how much she has really achieved or how proud I am of her, because I didn’t want to offend her.
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I was laughing thinking how many of your friends must think that this is about them. While I love the entry (as always), I must disagree. People are proud of others because they know what strength and courage it takes to grow. When you hear that someone is proud of you, it just means that they admire your fortitude -or even, that you have done a lot better job than the rest of us at this thing called life. If for no other reason than the person took the time to think about you and say it, I would doubt that it's often -if ever- a backhanded compliment. Maybe it's hard to accept that, because we have trouble being proud of ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWell said Aileen, and you are certainly right about it being most difficult to be proud of ourselves. With that said though, I am proud of you, sincerely.
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