Monday, January 15, 2007

The Philosopher’s Gown

Now that my applications are behind me I am in this wonderful, peaceful limbo. All I can do is wait. And during this time of waiting, I can breathe and I can live and do all sorts of silly frivolous things that I have been putting off. It feels good.

First and foremost, I have to find a wedding dress. I oscillate wildly between loving this lacy, shimmery, flowy girly task and resenting it because of the expense, because I will have to succumb to the wedding machine and because it is just not as easy as I thought it would be.

It is difficult because I am not just looking for a dress to make me look pretty and princess like, I am looking for a philosophy. Of course, I am heaping way too much importance on this poor little garment, but that is what I tend to do.

In asking myself what kind of wedding dress I want, I am forced to also ask myself what kind of person I am. Am I sophisticated and straight and long? am I short and fun? am I 1960's or 1920's? am I modern and simple or am I intricate and embellished? I find all of these qualities enticing in a dress and one thing I know that I do not want to be is like everybody else. Although, everyone thinks that to some degree I suppose.

I told Joe that I want the dress to set the mood for the evening and in this case I really think it has the ability to do so. I love fashion and I also hate it, but I am not denying its power. I want to harness that power and wrap it around the hearts of all of my guests and squeeze until they feel the pull of a totally new idea, that they would not have thought of, that they would not have dared do themselves, but that tickles their noses with my feathers and sings.


  1. You'll know you have the right dress when you close your eyes and picture Joe's face when he sees you in it for the first time. Time will literally stand still and your heart will skip with anticipation and joy.

    If you can't picture the moment, you have the wrong dress. Besides, people have the best times at the wedding where they can feel the love between the bride and groom... the fashion matters little since everyone thinks THEIR dress was the best one! LOL

    A wedding is only a moment in time. It's the marriage that really matters anyway. I know you will have a happy one!

  2. I oscillated wildly as well. Part of me longed to be traditional, part of me wanted to fight tradition. I met in between the two. I drove myself nearly crazy.

    I thought finding "the dress" would be an event where angels would sing when I put "the one" on. They never sang. I stressed out that I spent too much and went way overboard. I even had nightmares about it.

    And then the big day came and when my husband told me I looked incredible. But was he talking about the dress? Or was he talking about the deep connection we were feeling that day?

    Now when I look at the dress, I love it. I love it because it is simply what I wore on that magnificent day. I unzip it slowly, stare at it, smell it and touch it hoping it will send a surge of memories, smells and feelings through me.