Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Walking Into Oblivion

Today thoughts felt incomplete and scattered. Quietness of mind and reflection have dried up. The garden of my vocabulary is dormant and covered in new blue frost and I cant seem to find the words for the most simple thought these days. I have slept enough, but I feel tired still. I have eaten enough, but want something else anyway. What is it? I want a day off, but they never seem to help, I want dark chocolate and coziness but it gives way to pointlessness.

I walked 40 blocks the other morning in an effort to recreate the invigorating hardship that we faced last winter for the transit strike. I walked to work that week, 40 blocks down and then across the park. But I was a part of something then. A part of a communal struggle, that wasnt so bad after all. But the other morning I was surprised at the lack of people outside, I felt gray and alone and even my ipod could not cheer me up for good.

I know its winter, it happens every year, but every year I think its something else that is causing my imagined hardship. I have bundled up so that I dont feel the cold, but I can still feel it wanting to get in and rob me of everything.

1 comment:

  1. Fortunately we will be beating the winter blahs in a matter of weeks! I feel your pain. I had to scrape ice this morning for about the 15th time this winter. I miss the van!!