Saturday, June 3, 2006

occupational hazard

Now that I dont have an art or design related job, I have been feeling more like an artist. I realized today that when I am officially a part of an environment I get suffocated by it and dont sufficiently flourish.

I am wondering if I leave my lab job, will I feel more like a scientist?

I have an obsession of pining for something different. So I will probably keep turning around in circles and eventually drill myself into the ground like a screw if I continue this.

I am always getting so desperate and frustrated with my current situation that I feel as if there are ants crawling all over me and are slowly wrapping each limb of mine with fishing line and bolting it firmly to the floor. The only solution is to work aggressively and persistently to cut the fishing line with my teeth, violently brush the ants off and march to a completely different place so far away that it would take an ants lifetime before they could reach me again.

But the ants are in my head and so is the fishing line. So they will always find me.

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