Last night we were having a conversation about participating in class and I said that just thinking about answering a question makes me nervous, even if I never end up raising my hand or saying anything.
Then I was talking about how there is always the one person who talks so much in class and seems to have nothing important to say. But I always try to make sure I have a perfect little nugget of wisdom or questioning to present before I speak in class. Which is why I never do.
As I was telling this to the people around me I had this vision of the idea being like a stone tumbling around in my head that I need to methodically wear down and polish, like a stone in the sea, to make smooth and shiny before I show it to anyone. This vision came to me as I was speaking about how I dont like to speak and I didnt share this stone idea with the people around me because I was scared they would think I was strange, but I feel like it would have illustrated my point perfectly. So I am saying it now.
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Eventually those stored nuggets shine so much inside your head that one day you find that you are no longer concerned about speaking your mind - in fact the problem becomes to control the shining.
ReplyDeleteI was reminded of something attributed to Einstein, although I haven't been able to locate the exact source.
"To myself I seem to have been only a little boy playing on the seashore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a smoother shell than ordinary, while the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me."